I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
