Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Randomize