I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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