she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize