yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
