my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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