I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
