I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
