:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
