Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
