because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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