Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
