I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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