Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
