Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
