Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
