Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
