Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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