doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
