Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
