no, he came in my armpit
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
