i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
