What a fucking waste of an outfit
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
