Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize