Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
