I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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