She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
