So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
