you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize