My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
