the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
