i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
