Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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