we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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