Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
