I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
