im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
