he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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