My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
