thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
