His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
