I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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