haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
