doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
