She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
