you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
