doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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