the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
