I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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