he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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