id be glad to
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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