Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
