when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
