I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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