Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I feel like abortions should bother me more
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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