So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
