I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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