I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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