I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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