It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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