At least make sure they are 18
Why
what day is it and did you see me today?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
