Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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