I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
