Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Randomize
