I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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