2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
