There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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