Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize