there was a trapeze. enough said
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
