11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Randomize
