I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
