you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
