Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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