Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize