the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
