the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
