k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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