Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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