thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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